Bloodwork is good!

I got my bloodwork back a few days ago and it looks good!!

1st beta: 41,617
2nd beta: 54,810

This time around, the betas aren't looking to double only because I will hit a plateau eventually. My progesterone is low so now I am on supplements I have to take vaginally every night.

We go back for our 2nd ultrasound today and are hoping to see a heartbeat! Cross your fingers for a strong heartbeat!!

I Want That

I was sitting in the ER waiting room. Across from me is this cute little boy, 2 years old at the very most. He couldn't make up his mind who he wanted. I want mom, no I want dad. Now I want mom, no wait, now dad. I couldn't help but think, I can't wait for that. I would give anything for that.

When I am back in the waiting room after being seen, there is this little girl about 3 years old. Cute little thing, must have cut her head because there was blood madded in her hair. She had long blond hair and bright blue eyes. She was wearing bright pink pajamas with feeties. Adorable, looked me when I was her age. Not that I want to have to go to the ER with my daughter but when I looked at her, I couldn't help but think, I want that.

I sitting in my OB's office. There were 2 large pregnant women rubbing their bellies. One looked uncomfortable and the other seemed to be enjoying her babies movements. I want that.

As I am waiting, a new mom walks in with her brand new baby boy. He was perfect and adorable. The ladies at the front were fawning over him. He couldn't be older than a month or two because the lady was in to have my OB sign something for her maternity leave. I can't believe how perfect he was. I want that.

A few minutes later, a woman walked in with a big baby carrier holding her daughter. I couldn't get a look at the baby, she was bundled up too much. But I am staring at the mom struggle with the big carrier. While it seemed to be a nuisance for her, I couldn't help but think, I would do anything to be in her position.

I am trying to keep as positive as possible. I went in for my second round of blood work today and now the long wait until Monday. I still feel terrible and under all of this sickness I still seem to have nausea and can't seem to finish any of my food. After taking a few bites, I am over it and feel icky. I guess I can still take those as great signs but the blood work is the crucial part and the only thing that will prove everything is okay. And everything is going to be okay! Right?

Pregnant Woman with Fever = No Good

I have had a fever since Wednesday night. This morning it was 101 then within a few hours 102. I went in to see the doc and by the time I got there it was down to 99.4. Then once I get home, it's back up to 100.6. I think maybe my thermometer is off. If my temp gets back up to 101, I have to go to the ER.

In addition to all of this, I have a cough, cold and congestion. The congestion was worse last night and this morning but better now. Why oh why is this happening now? Can't anything go smoothly?

With everything that happened yesterday, this just adds to it.

1st Ultrasound @ 6 Weeks (?)

Well, I don't know what to think. My sac measured 5w4d. The yolk sac was in there. She was a flicker but she said it also could be blood flow so she didn't want to say it was the heartbeat.

I am so scared. I don't know what to do with myself. She thinks I may have conceived later then I thought. But I am not sure if that's the case because if it was then that means I would have gotten my positive pregnancy test earlier than 10 days past ovulation.I know she is trying to be optimistic but it makes me wonder if she is blowing sunshine up my ass. I don't need sunshine, I need facts. I am repeating blood work today and Saturday. I will get those results on Monday. I also have another ultrasound next week to see if things are progressing.

I feel such mixed emotions. My Doctor seemed to think that everything will be okay but I can't help but be scared. Now I have to wait a whole week to see if everything is okay.

Please cross your fingers for me and this little bean. I need so bad for s/he to stick. I can't go through this again.

Impatience

If you know me very well, you know that I am not a patient person. I am definitely an instant gratification type of girl. Having to wait one more day to see our baby's heart is making me crazy. I am glad I am not working tomorrow, because if I was it would drag on! It's weird being so excited yet so scared at the same time. Randy and I are staying positive but secretly I am terrified! BUT I KNOW everything is going to be great!

The morning sickness has eased up today. Nausea wasn't as often as it had been the last few days. I am hoping this trend keeps up but if it doesn't, that's okay too.

Positive Thoughts

I got these from an online message board I frequent and these help me so much! I need to remain positive until we see our babies heartbeat next week!

--"Today I am pregnant and I love my baby."
--"I am pregnant until someone tells me otherwise."
--"My past does not dictate my future. A previous m/c does not mean I will have another m/c."
--"Just because something sad is happening to another, does not mean it will happen to you." We all know m/c and complications are not contagious!
-- "Hope does not make bad things happen" You cannot ‘jinx’ your pregnancy by creating a ticker, getting excited, or telling someone. Live in the positive!
--And this is the hardest one: "There is nothing I can do to prevent a m/c from happening. Worrying yourself sick doesn't prevent a m/c. And if (Gods forbid) it were to happen again, I know I will survive."

I need to memorize these and repeat them everyday!

1st Ultraound in 1 Week!

Valentine's Day is the day we hopefully will see the heartbeat of our little bean. Most people are looking forward to the day because it's fulled with love, roses and chocolate. We are looking forward to the day for the doctor's office, dildo cam (internal ultrasound device), and a little flutter on the screen.

Statistics say if there is a heartbeat at 6-7 weeks, your chances of miscarrying are 5%. That may seem low to most but not to others. I will be just over 6 weeks then.

So here I am one week away and that's all I can think about. I can't wait to see the little flutters of the heart on the screen. I can't wait to take home the ultrasound pictures and share them.

Cross your fingers for a healthy, strong heartbeat!!

Fish Consumption While Pregnant

I worked in the Autism field right out of college. Of course there are lots of talk around Mercury levels and how it effects unborn babies. I did some research on the types of fish to avoid and types that are safe. This came from a very reliable source and it breaks it down very simply.

Highest Mercury
AVOID Eating
Grouper
Marlin
Orange roughy
Tilefish
Swordfish
Shark
Mackerel (king)

High Mercury
Eat no more than three 6-oz servings per month
Bass saltwater
Croaker
Halibut
Tuna (canned, white albacore)
Tuna (fresh bluefin, ahi)
Sea trout
Bluefish
Lobster (American/Maine)

LOWER MERCURY
Eat no more than six 6-oz servings per month
Carp
Mahi Mahi
Crab (dungeness)
Snapper
Crab (blue)
Herring
Crab (snow)
Monkfish
Perch (freshwater)
SkateCod
Tuna (canned, chunk light)
Tuna (fresh Pacific albacore)

LOWEST MERCURY
Enjoy two 6-oz servings per week
Anchovies
Butterfish
Calamari (squid)
Caviar (farmed)
Crab (king)
Pollock
Catfish
Whitefish
Perch (ocean)
Scallops
Flounder
Haddock
Hake
Herring
Lobster (spiny/rock)
Shad
Sole
Crawfish/crayfish
Salmon
Shrimp
Clams
Tilapia
Oysters
Sardines
Sturgeon (farmed)
Trout (freshwater)

Chart obtained from the Natural Resource Defense Council (NRDC); data obtained by the FDA and the EPA

Innocence

Dedicated to our baby. Can't wait to meet you

Innocence by Avril Lavigne

Waking up I see that everything is OK
The first time in my life and now it's so great
Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed
I think about the little things that make life great

I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

This innocence is brilliant
I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect
Please don't go away
I need you now
And I'll hold on to it
Don't you let it pass you by

I found a place so safe, not a single tear
The first time in my life and now it's so clear
Feel calm, I belong, I'm so happy here
It's so strong and now I let myself be sincere

I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

This innocence is brilliant
I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect
Please don't go away
I need you now
And I'll hold on to it
Don't you let it pass you by

It's a state of bliss, you think you're dreaming
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling
It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry
It's a state of bliss, you think you're dreaming
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling

It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry
It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry

This innocence is brilliant
Makes you wanna cry
This innocence is brilliance
Please don't go away
Cause I need you now
And I'll hold on to it
Don't you let it pass you by

This innocence is brilliant
I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect
Please don't go away
I need you now
And I'll hold on to it
Don't you let it pass you by

2nd are in!!

So here is the final verdict!!

1st betas:147
2nd Betas: 359
Progesterone: 20.3

Those are great numbers! I cried when I got off the phone with the nurse! This makes me so much more confident with this pregnancy. Cross your fingers that everything else goes great!!

1st Beta Results Back!

I called this morning in the hopes of having both results but they only had my first draw back.

The nurse said my protesgerone levels were good and my HcG levels were good too.

First beta HcG levels: 147

I am calling back this afternoon, pray for them to be at least double that!! The suspense is going to kill me!

Second Round of Betas

Today I go get my second round of blood work drawn. And then tomorrow comes the greatly anticipated results. Not to mention the purple and blue bruise I have from Mondays blood draw. After today I may look like a heroin junkie!!

I feel good this pregnancy and I feel confident. I feel like this is really it. But in the back of my mind I am still scared.

Last night I had a low fever. Only 100.31. Not considered dangerous unless it is above 102. But it still freaked me out. I took a Tylenol, a lukewarm shower, put ice bags on me and took my temperature several times. After an hour it went down to 99.6. From then on it fluctuated from 99.6-99.04. It isn't until just now that I am finally in the 98s.

Not very much nausea today, just a little this morning but my nipples burn!! And I had a craving for guacamole, pasta salad and caeser salad all at the same time! That makes an interesting lunch.

I Welcome Everything

I welcome everything. I welcome the morning sickness, the nausea, the face break outs, the sore boobs, the bloating, the weight gain, stretch marks....anything! I am okay with gaining 100 pounds if that means for me to birth a healthy baby. I am okay with throwing up everyday if that means a healthy baby.

For this to be a healthy pregnancy, followed by the birth of a healthy baby, I welcome everything.

First Step in a Long Process

Here it goes to the first round of blood work. I have to have blood drawn two times in a 48 hour period.

The goal? For my HcG levels to double in that 48 hours (these are called Betas). If it does, my pregnancy is off to a great start! The first step down the road to a successful, healthy pregnancy.
Cross your fingers for great Betas!!

Then comes early ultra sound a few weeks later. Pray for a heartbeat!